What to wear on a first date: outfit ideas for every kind of plan
You want to look like yourself on a good day, not like you’re auditioning for a part. Here’s how to choose a first date outfit that suits the plan, the weather and you.
The best answer to what to wear on a first date is a clean, well-fitting version of what you’d normally wear to that place, one notch smarter: dark jeans or tailored trousers, a top or shirt you feel good in, and a jacket or knit. Choose shoes you can walk in and add one standout piece.
Key takeaways
- Dress for the venue first, then go one notch smarter than you would on an ordinary visit.
- Wear something you’ve worn before and know is comfortable, shoes included.
- One standout piece is enough: a colour, a good jacket, a great bag.
- Check the forecast for the end of the night, and bring a layer you can carry.
- The evidence for ‘lucky’ red is weaker than the headlines suggest, so wear the colour you feel best in.
The one rule: dress for the place, then one notch up
Most first-date outfit worries come down to one question: will I look too dressed up, or not enough? The fix is to dress for the venue first, then nudge it one step smarter than you would for an ordinary visit.
- Look the place up. Photos on a venue’s website or social pages show what people actually wear there. A candlelit wine bar and a pub with a quiz machine are not the same night.
- Go one notch up. Leather trainers instead of running ones, a knit or shirt instead of a T-shirt, dark jeans instead of faded ones, the good coat instead of the anorak.
- Aim for slightly overdressed, not very. A little extra effort reads as keen; a lot reads as uncomfortable. If you’re unsure, smart casual covers most first dates, and our guide to the smart casual dress code explains what that looks like.
- Wear something you’ve worn before. A first date is not the moment to discover that a new shirt gapes when you sit down.
First date outfit ideas for every kind of plan
Find your plan, then read across. Every row works in menswear, womenswear or a mix of both.
| The plan | What to wear | Shoes | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|---|
| Drinks in a pub or bar | Dark jeans or trousers, a good T-shirt, shirt or knit, a jacket or blazer | Boots, loafers, clean trainers | High stools, and beer gardens that get cold after sunset |
| Dinner | A midi dress, or trousers with a silky top, shirt or fine knit | Ankle boots, loafers, heels you can walk in | Smarter restaurants; check whether there’s a dress code |
| Coffee or brunch | A knit or shirt, jeans or trousers, a trench or jacket | Trainers, loafers | Daylight shows every crease and bobble |
| A walk, park or market | Layers, dark jeans, a warm coat | Boots or trainers with grip | Mud, wind and a long time outdoors |
| Gallery or museum | Smart casual you can stand in for two hours | Comfortable flats | Lots of walking, and a coat you’ll carry |
| Cinema or comedy | Soft layers: a cardigan or an overshirt | Anything comfortable | Rooms that are over-cooled or overheated |
| Bowling, crazy golf or climbing | Stretchy trousers or jeans, a T-shirt, an overshirt | Trainers, or the venue’s shoes | Sleeves that get in the way, and short hems |
If drinks might turn into dinner, dress for drinks and add a jacket. It covers both, and you won’t look like you assumed there’d be a second venue.
What to wear on a first date, whatever your style
A formula that works for anyone
Dark jeans or trousers + a top you love + a third piece + clean shoes + one standout detail. The third piece is a jacket, blazer, cardigan or good knit; it’s what makes an outfit look chosen rather than grabbed. The standout detail might be a colour, a bag, a watch or a great pair of boots. It’s one of the outfit formulas worth knowing by heart.
If you mostly wear menswear
Fit matters more than anything you buy for the occasion. Shirt sleeves should reach your wrist, trousers shouldn’t pool at the ankle, and a T-shirt should skim rather than cling or billow. Iron the shirt, choose a fine knit or a jacket over it, and clean your shoes; scuffed shoes undo an otherwise sharp outfit. Skip big logos.
If you mostly wear womenswear
A dress and a pair of trousers are equally good choices, so pick whichever you feel most like yourself in. Wear heels only if you can walk ten minutes in them without thinking about it. A midi length suits almost any venue, and a jacket or cardigan over a dress means the walk home won’t be a cold one.
Finishing touches that count
- One piece of jewellery or a watch that you love, rather than everything at once.
- A lint roller over dark knits and coats, especially if you have a cat or dog.
- A look at your back in a mirror: labels sticking up, creases from the car seat, a tag still on.
- Hair and nails tidy rather than done for an occasion; it should look like the everyday you, with a bit of care.
- A bag in proportion to the plan: a small crossbody or nothing at all for drinks, something roomier if you’re coming straight from work.
Whatever section of the shop your clothes come from, the aim is the same: look like you, on a good day.
Does the colour you wear on a date matter?
You’ve probably read that wearing red makes you more attractive. The idea took off after a 2008 study, Romantic red, which reported that men found women more attractive when red was involved. Later research has been less dramatic.
- A 2018 meta-analysis, co-written by one of the original authors, found a small effect for men rating women and a very small one for women rating men, and suggested the effect may have shrunk over time.
- A 2019 set of preregistered replications of the women-rating-men version, with 640 participants, found no effect of red at all.
So wear red if you love it, not as a tactic. What makes more difference is a colour you feel good in, that works with your colouring and with the rest of the outfit. Our guide to matching colours in outfits shows how to put them together. A few practical points:
- Dark colours forgive spilt red wine and look good in dim light.
- All black is fine; add texture or one colour so it doesn’t look like your work clothes.
- Daytime dates suit softer colours and pale neutrals, which look fresh in daylight.
What not to wear on a first date
- Brand-new shoes that haven’t been worn in. Blisters are not a conversation starter.
- Anything you have to keep adjusting: a slipping strap, a hem you keep tugging, a shirt that gapes.
- Clothes too tight to sit, eat or laugh in comfortably.
- A cloud of fragrance. One or two sprays, not five.
- Big slogans and logos that do the talking before you do.
- Gym kit, unless the date is at the climbing wall.
- Pale silk or white trousers if you’re going for curry or spaghetti.
- A whole new look. If you never wear heels or a tie, a first date isn’t the place to start. They’re meeting you, so dress like you. If you’re still working out what that means, our guide to finding your personal style can help.
Dress for the weather and the whole evening
British first dates have a habit of starting in daylight and ending after dark. Check the forecast for the end of the evening, not the start, and bring a layer you can hang on a chair. Our guide to what to wear by temperature shows what each degree calls for.
- Bars and restaurants are warm; the walk between them isn’t. A thinner knit under a proper coat beats a thick jumper you’ll be too hot in indoors.
- Choose a coat you’re happy to be seen in. It’s the first and last thing your date sees.
- If rain is forecast, a trench and leather boots look far better on arrival than a soaked jacket. Our guide to what to wear in the rain has more.
The night-before checklist
- Try the whole outfit on, shoes and coat included, a day or two before.
- Sit down in it. Check nothing gapes, digs in or rides up.
- Walk for ten minutes in the shoes.
- Look for marks, bobbles and loose threads in daylight.
- Steam or iron anything that needs it.
- Decide on your layer for later.
- Pack your bag: phone, card, keys, lip balm, and plasters if the shoes are newish.
- Check the forecast for the end of the night.
- Lay it all out, so getting ready is calm rather than frantic.
Questions
Is it better to be overdressed or underdressed on a first date?
Slightly overdressed is usually better: it shows you made an effort, and you can take off a jacket to dress down. Very overdressed can make you both feel awkward, so aim for one notch above what the venue needs.
Can you wear jeans on a first date?
Yes, for most first dates. Choose a clean, dark pair that fits well, and lift them with a good top, a jacket and smart shoes. Skip heavily ripped or faded jeans for dinner somewhere smart.
Is all black OK for a first date?
Yes. All black looks polished and is forgiving in dim light. Mix textures, such as a knit with leather or a silky top with denim, or add one colour, so it looks like an evening outfit rather than a work uniform.
What should you wear on a video first date?
Dress as you would for a casual drink, at least from the waist up. Plain colours or larger patterns work best on camera, because fine stripes and small checks can shimmer, and sit facing a window or lamp so your face is well lit.
Sources
- Romantic red: Red enhances men’s attraction to women, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Elliot and Niesta, 2008)
- Meta-analysis of the effect of red on perceived attractiveness, Evolutionary Psychology (Lehmann, Elliot and Calin-Jageman, 2018)
- A demonstration of the Collaborative Replication and Education Project: replication attempts of the red-romance effect, Collabra: Psychology (Wagge and others, 2019)
